Monday, January 26, 2009

London Calling

Laugh out loud comedian Doggie Shill chuckled all the way to prison for five months today having been found guilty of shoplifting in London’s luxury Haggards department store. Spencer of Glebe Close, Swanage was detained by store detectives on the 15th of March 2007, he was discovered to have a tooled leather sofa lashed to his back and a packet of Duchy Original condoms in his pocket. Shill denied the charges and claimed the goods had been “planted” on him.

Johnnie “Two Trousers” McGee, Europe’s greatest Lothario and serial adulterer has announced that he is to retire on the 14th of February. “It seemed like a fitting date to hang my jock straps up. I have no definite plans for the future, but I am interested in becoming a driving instructor for ladies.”

“Why did God leave evolution out of the bible?” Parishioner asks.