Wednesday, July 6, 2011

News

Charlie Chewtree has finally buried his historic time capsule in Winchombe Park. Future archaeologists would learn much from the capsule when they stumbled upon it in a distant millennium, he told reporters.  Asked what he had included, he said mainly fossils and examples of his flint collection.

Reg Peters decided to go private for his amputation and he claims it ended up costing him an arm and a leg.

Celebrated soul group The Commodores revealed today that their record company refused to pay them time and half for their hit song Nightshift in the 1980s.


Middle-aged men may be forced to wear slacks and cardigans it was revealed in a confidential report today. Pipe smoking could also be reintroduced for the over thirties, in a drive to make them more age appropriate, a government spokesperson claims low hanging jeans and hoddies could also be banned for the older man. Denims with a clear white crease, ironed and worn above the hip would be acceptable for washing the car.

There has been an increase in ghosts suffering from Alzheimer’s disease a study revealed today. A medical expert commented that as we live longer we will see more fumbling, mumbling phantoms, with dementia and mobility issues. But in a controversial move by Health Authorities wheelchairs, Zimmer frames and walking sticks will not be permitted to be taken  to the other side.